CONFESSIONS

I find it easier to share things which might be difficult to say by allowing for a delay between blurting out the facts and receiving the other person's response to what I have just put out there. I personally find it easier to jot something down in a note (I am much more eloquent in writing) and then run away while the person digests what they have just read. Similarly, I write text messages and switch off my phone for a good few minutes while I wait for my heart to stop pounding, before turning my phone back on with my face turned away slightly, wincing as I read the reply. Blogging provides a similar delay in proceedings, as well as a veil of anonymity and protection - the receiver doesn't see my beetroot face nor hear me mumbling and stuttering my way through the heavy confession I am making.
Considering that a new year is upon us, I thought my confessional might inspire some New Year's resolutions and make me all the more likely to stick to them because it's out there and I give you permission to hold me to account!


1. I have been sleeping in full make-up, most nights, for over a year. Cue gasps and/or silent judgement. This is not good because I am in a break out/cover up cycle that can only be stopped if I let my skin breathe for more than the twenty minutes it goes without cosmetics - aka shower time. Seriously, barely anyone sees me without make-up and the self-portrait below depicts me without it. This is actually kind of awkward and difficult for me to share, but say hello to Anna au naturale:

Funny how I can't bring myself to smile when I don't have a full-face of slap on!

2. I have been quite lazy with my exercise routine. I want to get up each morning and make exercise a non-negotiable, but instead procrastinate and simply eat less so as to make sure the energy in-energy out formula is fairly even. I don't think this is the best way to go about things because I'm losing muscle and that makes me sad.


3. I may or may not have driven on an expired license this year. It's not that difficult to renew it, and I still haven't done so.


4. I quit smoking but have given into the odd cigarette here and there. I want to nip this in the bud because cigarettes are nobody's friend and we all know how usage has a tendency to increase over time. Not to mention the nights I spend awake and coughing because my pink lungs are not used to all the smoke they're being exposed to!


5. I use far too many chemicals in my home for my liking. Sneezing constantly from fragrances, burning throat from bleach fumes in the shower can't be good signs. Still, I tell myself "just this once" and marvel at the whiteness of the grouting and sparkling loo... It has to stop! On the plus side, I have taken to cleaning some parts of my home with vinegar alone. Baby steps! If anyone has any DIY formulas or safe products I can use in place of my usual cleaning routine, please do share.


6. I haven't been to the dentist in three years (or was it four?). I'm not afraid of the dentist per say... just of what they might say about the state of my teeth. I fear being left with a gaping hole where a tooth should be, or the agony of a root canal. Worse is the fact that 99% of my dreams involve my teeth falling out, which should be the kick in the butt I need to seek out some peace of mind.

Sure, these may look pearly white, but what this picture doesn't depict is the sharp pain at the back of my mouth when I'm eating sweet foods, or that toothache which comes and goes with increasing frequency...

7. I am terrible at keeping in touch via means other than facebook and even then I am notorious for not replying to messages. I know I should pick up the phone more often instead of having to start every conversation with "I'm soooooo sorry I haven't been in touch..." I have developed this weird dislike for talking on the phone and it's just plain silly because I do care about those close to me but how do they know this if I don't make an active effort to ask how they're going?


... I think that is all for now. What a weight off my shoulders! Now that this is all public knowledge, I feel like I should do something about it, I mean, how embarrassing if I'm asked how the dental visits/exercise/sleeping without make up is going and I haven't made any progress... Not only that, but I know I am going to feel so much better once I have ticked everything off the list and start living in a far more healthy manner. So, I invite you to check in with me and ask me where I'm at in relation to these confessions/resolutions. And if you're dying to get something off your chest - add it to the comments feed below. And remember, if it makes it any easier you can post anonymously!