Thursday, April 17, 2014



^^This image has little to do with this post other than that my books provide me comfort^^

Considering I spend more time on my blog than any other "meaningful" pursuit (other than reading or walking which no-one gets paid to do and probably fall into the category of "hobby" more than anything) I think I can safely call myself a "blogger". Unfortunately, I am not a very good one. I have neglected to journal my life for two weeks now, which is basically a no-no if you take your blogging seriously at all. An explanation? Before I do, I want to share something I read on my favourite blog, Heaven on Bourke. She was talking about her strive to make her blog an authentic one, one you can go to for a healthy dose of relatability and reality, which she defines as:

Laughing so hard that you accidentally fart in front of a boy you really like 
Getting to the check out at Coles and discovering you have insufficient funds
Having to put back that beautiful round hass avocado because you're dirt poor
Starting a new diet every Monday and failing every Sunday because no damn fool should have to eat raw food all the time
Reality is Lena Dunham's body
But not Lena Denham's body confidence

I know you can relate and I do too. I'm tired of only seeing the highlight reel of people's lives, be it in general conversation between friends, on facebook or in the blogosphere. So, in that vein, here's the stuff that never made the blog these past couple of weeks:

Brought my camera along to two exciting race days. Had nice dress on, good makeup and hair and noticed plenty of photo opps. Upon seeing the first few pictures of myself, I was so disgusted with my body I decided I wouldn't be blogging the event. 
Got tipsy instead to forget the negative thoughts in my head.
Approximately 7 out of 14 nights, I got drunk all by myself because life felt inexplicably dismal.
Became so disillusioned with the fact that online communication between friends, family and acquaintances had replaced real, human interaction that I deleted my Facebook. It remains deleted.
Also came close to shutting down my blog. Lacked motivation, told myself it was pointless and stupid. 
Spent more time listening to music than speaking to people. When I'm in a rut, I am not the kind of person who turns to people.
Went 6 days without washing my hair. 
Chain smoked.
Bought chocolate eggs for friends and family and had to buy replacements because I comfort ate almost all of them. 

I feel like getting back to blogging as much as possible, but next time I don't feel so chipper, I'll share it with you. I've historically kept diaries in the past where I never told the whole truth in case someone else read it. Truth is, I love the gritty in others. I don't want to live in a world where everyone submits only the final, edited copy for public consumption. Give me the notes and the frustrations! Tell me how you tried to break the keyboard in half, how many cigarette breaks you took, coffees you drank, trips back and forth to the fridge you made. I promise I'll tell you too. Along with all the recipes and crap I've bought lately, of course.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014


It's the lovability of Eurotrash and Barbie. Of Ivana Trump; Patsy from Ab Fab; Fran Drescher in The Nanny. It's the Spice Girls and 90's Covergirl Models; Cher and Dionne in Clueless; Paris Hilton in the Noughties. It's Faux fur and pink everything. Kitsch and glamour. It isn't "classic" or the style du jour, but it's always alive and kicking. Funkyoffish is a term that's been missing from the fashion vocabulary for far too long. Coined by rock-spring Pixie Geldof and designer Ashley Williams, it describes the "beauty in the things that others may dismiss as merely vulgar or tacky."

If you're inspired to be funkyoffish, here are some tips from the Funkyoffish girls themselves:

1. The ultimate funkyoffish logos: ­Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Hermes.

2.  Pink: The funkyoffish colour of choice.

3. Sportswear and streetwear: Palace, Nike, Adidas. 

 This is only really acceptable if combined with a more official, funkyoffish element.

4. Smiling is very funkyoffish and it's free.

In case you are a little confused, the following are a couple of pointers to stay funkyoffish:

1. It's a balancing act, too much funky and you end up looking like Lady Gaga. To much offish and you're Maggie Thatcher.

2. Being mean: Funkyoffish is not just about the way you dress, it's also an attitude. ­ No meanies! No devil wears Prada! (just the devil bit, keep the Prada!)

Now for some funkyoffish inspiration: